well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
