watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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