hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
