hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
the day after is always just damage control
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
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