I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
