I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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