I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Randomize
