i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Randomize
