im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
