the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
