He kissed a someone with a penis
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
