You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I had to cum in my sink.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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