This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
