Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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