Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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