Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
