She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
