Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
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