I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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