I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
