I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
