I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Randomize
