I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Couch. On fire.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize