You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Randomize
