Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I have already put on my inside pants.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Randomize
