are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
She announced her abortion via fbk
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
