benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
this boner is exhausting
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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