I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
