okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
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