Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
