Will you blow on my dice?
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
