In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Let's get the cat blown out
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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