and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
dude. I can hear the air.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
