Me too!
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
this boner is exhausting
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Randomize