yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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