Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
