There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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