I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Randomize
