one word: firstdatebathroomanal
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
