Sponge bath it is.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I want to be your penis for a week.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
