i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Randomize
