I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
