I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
