I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
