It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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