Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
40s are totally the cure
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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