You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
P.S. I can't hear my feet
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
