3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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