office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
She needs sedatives and a leash
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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