a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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