I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
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