I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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