Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Randomize
