what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
