it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
